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Dressing trendy to fight stereotypes

Apr 19 07:42

If life were a big running race and you and I were part of it, the people watching, the announcers, even those kids passing out water bottles, well, no one would expect us to win. They’d applaud us for trying, give us a fake trophy so we’re not too depressed about it, then they’d pat us on the back and give us an ice-cream cone while we watch the rest of the race from the sidelines.

This is what its like when you have a disability. No expects you to be triumphant in life, to be happy or successful, and they DEFINITELY don’t expect you to be attractive or stylish. This is where my stacked Steve Madden heels and my little black dress from Free People come in; my weaponry if you will against the onslaught I face everyday from prejudices people put on me before they get to know me.

If my daily clothes routine only included sweat pants, basic shirts and non-descript white tennis shoes - the PT recommend outfit of shame - if the average person took one look at me in my wheelchair, I’d be done for. All they’d see would be the wheelchair, a woman in a wheelchair mind you, but nothing more.

But if I’m wearing the most stylish, trendiest outfit I can muster, its shocking the difference this can make. People instead see me first, the stylish rolling fashionista, thanks to the clothes on my back. And the way they treat me is completely different, sickenly much improved. But I guess this is the same experience all humans go through, whether you’re disabled or not, it’s just more compounded I believe when you have a disability.

Its unfair we have to go the uber-trendy, wear labels route if we really want to prove to the able-bodied world we’re not what they assume. I have days when I just don’t care (and we all should most of the time), but on days when making a first impression counts, being a trend whore actually works.

How to you work your way up from this totally unfair judgment point?

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1. Kelly N | Apr 20 04:13

Great point! I completely agree. It goes along with the notion that we're always having to "prove ourselves," prove our worth per say, to avoid pity as much as possible and to avoid playing into the stereotype. One of the stereotypes is of course that our lives are very basic at best, very low quality at worst.

2. Tiffiny | Apr 22 01:08

Its so hard not to take it personally too. After being paralyzed 18 yrs, it still infuriates me to no end.

3. Joe | Apr 29 02:55

Totally. Giving in to chothing stereotypes is just another way of letting your disability define you. No good. Check out Tiffany. She is in a wheelchair and always looks like a rockstar. As a pusher of wheelchair sports and breaking barriers, I am onboard.

4. Tiffiny | May 02 04:30

@joe: let's see some pics of your outfits!

5. AZ River Girl | Sep 26 11:23

I absolutely agree with this. My disability DOES NOT define me, nor should it. I am employed by the Federal government (civilian service), and consequently wear a uniform at work-- the typical "green suit" just like everybody else. I am not a "charity hire"- I was and am qualified for my job. You should see the looks that I get from some of the visiting public!!Sometimes it's almost a 'game' I play with some people-- whether they notice the uniform or the chair first?

Spin 2.0

By Tiffiny Carlson

Tiffiny Carlson Disability buzz, travel, fashion and dating — fun things to amp up everyday wheeling life.

Tiffiny Carlson is freelance writer and writes the “SCI Life” column for New Mobility. She's also a C6 quad from a diving accident that occurred when she was 14 years old. A lifelong resident of Minneapolis, Tiffiny has been a writer in the disability community for over 10 years and writes for several publications and blogs, as well as her personal blog BeautyAbility. Her work has also appeared in mainstream publications such as Nerve.com and Playgirl.