Mike ErvinThere are three guarantees in life: death, taxes and people will always complain about the Oscars.

The main complaint about the Oscars this year was that the recipients were so thoroughly white that you had to wear sunglasses while watching the ceremony or you might go snow blind. It was whiter than an award show for polka music.

Cripples have complained about the Oscars for a long time. If you’re an actor and you want to win an Oscar, just play the lead role in a movie about a cripple. Gimp it up big time and you’re pretty much assured of winning for best actor/actress. It happened again this year. Twice! About the only time in motion picture history when playing a cripple didn’t snag an Oscar was when Woody Harrelson played Larry Flynt. Hmmmm. What was that all about?

So that’s the problem. The problem isn’t that the Oscar people are racist. The problem is that there aren’t enough movies being made about famous cripples who aren’t white. The deep and abiding love and admiration the Oscar people have for the artistic accomplishments of fake cripples doesn’t discriminate. Look at the facts. Jamie Foxx plays Ray Charles and boom — Oscaaaaaaar baaaaby! The same thing happened when Salma Hayek played Frida Kahlo.

So all those who bitch and moan that the Oscars are not diverse enough should stop complaining and do something about it. Just make more movies about famous cripples who aren’t white and the Oscar people won’t be able to resist honoring the authentic portrayals.

Here are some idea