Mike ErvinI imagine there is some set of etiquette rules that cripples are supposed to follow when lining up for treatments and cures, eh?

I imagine the cripples that get to go to the front of the line are those who were the guinea pigs. They’re the ones who gladly let themselves be beta tested. They dutifully spent hours and hours working out in physical therapy gyms, took part in drug tests and/or agreed to have experimental surgeries.

I guess if I were interested in checking out a treatment or cure, I would be considered a gate crasher. Because I’m about as far away from a guinea pig as one can be. I’ve always had a strong aversion to being part of any campaign to cure my crippledness for a lot of reasons. There’s nothing I find more tedious than exercising and medical compliance. God, how I hate taking time out to take a shot, change a dressing or whatever. I don’t want to fritter away precious hours of life being medically compliant unless I’ll die if I don’t. I feel the same way about exercising.

I also fear that if I come anywhere near a cure campaign, I’ll get sucked in to being an ambassador. What a horrid thought that is! I’ll be expected to become an eloquent spokesperson for why it sucks to be someone like me. That’s how these cure campaigns work. But I don’t want that kind of pressure. It’s too high of a price to pay.

A cure ambassador can never beha