The basketball arena my college played in was about a mile from my dorm. When you love basketball like I did, pushing my chair to games didn’t seem too bad. I happened to know a girl who liked basketball too. So, I took a shot and asked her to walk with me to the game. In the second half of our date, I began to notice a lingering, offensive smell. When we got to the dorm’s lane, the odor was pressing. My game plan was to make a play for a kiss when we got to her door. I posted up and took my shot. My play for a kiss was blocked. She passed and I couldn’t rebound. The smell blanketed me as I headed home. Once in my dorm, I discovered that I had rolled through dog poo and managed to get it all over my body and chair. Game over, no rematch.
— Doos and Don’ts
I have a tendency to carry on conversations in my sleep. Recently, I have taken to engaging Siri and voice tex