The Getaway Chair

While getting out of my van one evening, my wheelchair got away from me and rolled across the parking lot, down a driveway and across Route 20, a four-lane highway. Luckily, no vehicles hit the chair, and it settled in a ditch. A confused motorist pulled over and retrieved my chair for me. Seems like a happy ending, right?

Well, four or five days later I went to pay some bills and couldn’t find my checkbook anywhere. After thoroughly searching the office and all around my house, I was at a loss. No activity on the account meant it was likely not stolen. Thinking back, the last time I remembered seeing it, was in the pouch under my wheelchair the night of the incident. It took some convincing, but I eventually got my wife to go back to the scene to look for it. Sure enough, in less than five minutes she found my checkbook. Somehow that was the only item that had fallen from the pouch despite my generally not keeping it zipped closed.
—Xavier Cash

Bottoms Up

I was in a party mood one evening and after one too many drinks, I made my way to the restroom. While pulling up my leggings, I stumbled and fell and there was no way I was getting up from the floor without help.

So there I was, naked from the waist down, my pants pooled around my ankles, and I didn’t even have my cell phone to discreetly call for help! To make matters worse, the door was unlocked and I was terrified someone would walk in and see me like that. As luck would have it, my husband knocked on the door to ask if I was OK. He sensed something was wrong and came in right away when I said I needed help.

After he picked me up off the floor we both turned around to discover that I’d knocked a hole the size of a football in the sheetrock with my head! Fortunately, our hosts understood when we explained what happened, and we took care of the damages.

I always carry my phone to the bathroom now.
—Tipsy-Turvy

Send your Wheelchair Confidential stories to confessions@unitedspinal.org. Anonymity guaranteed!