I was at a neighbor’s house party this summer, doing the social distancing thing as people do now. A couple of the neighbors brought their young adult sons, and I remember discussing the college experience with them at some point, but I didn’t think anything of it.

Later that night, after the number of guests had thinned, I was sitting on a quiet part of their deck and overheard the voices of those same boys coming from below me. They couldn’t see me and didn’t know I was within listening distance. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but when I heard them bring up “the MILF in the wheelchair,” I couldn’t unhear their conversation. That term pretty much narrowed it down to me, as the only woman in a wheelchair at the party.

On the one hand, it was flattering that they thought I was attractive, but MILF?! That made me feel really old. Forget the wheelchair part, I’m a single woman in my early 30s. I’m no Mrs. Robinson or even Stifler’s mom.

—Not Your Mombshell