I have loved opera since I was 2 years old. Inevitably, I am asked how I can remember anything from when I was 2. I had major back surgery — a dorsal rhizotomy — followed by four months in Rusk Rehabilitation in New York City. And what 2-year-old wouldn’t have vivid memories of that?

I was released from the hospital two months early, because my twin sister gave me chicken pox. My time at Rusk also stands out because a family friend gave me a videotape of The Magic Flute by Mozart and it sparked a lifelong love of opera. I know, a 30-year-old guy in a wheelchair who likes opera. Sometimes it feels like I won the lottery.

That life-changing encounter with Mozart in the hospital is why I am now an opera critic. Honestly, there is something cathartic in seeing people torture themselves and die onstage for a variety of reasons. And even though many of the characters are nondisabled — at least in the physical sense — their struggles spoke to me as a person with a physical disability. Still, given the recent surge of disabled characters on television shows like Speechless and Special, I couldn’t help but wonder when my beloved artform would catch up.

This March, I finally get my wish. Breaking the Waves makes its debut at Los Angeles Opera, in a co-production with Opera Philadelphia. The performance will be free streaming online from March 19^th – April 12th.

Breaking the Waves is Only One of Three Operas About Disability Written in the Past Century

The opera, with music by Missy Mazzoli to a text by Royce Vavrek, had its premiere in Philadelphia in 2016. It is based on the 1996 film by Lars Von Trier that examines the intersection between disability, intimacy, and religion. At the mention of Von Trier, I can hear some readers groaning, as he is a problematic filmmaker. Among other things, his films can be misogynistic, and this is no exception. That being said, it is the only opera to take an honest look at the complexities of having a disability. Not only does the story question how we define disability, but it also examines the struggles people with disabilities must confront in society as well as with their partners.

In Breaking the Waves, we’re introduced to Bess, a member of a Calvinist community in Scotland, who marries Jan, a Norwegian who works on an oil rig. When he returns to the rig shortly after their wedding, he is injured in a drilling accident and becomes paralyzed. As they struggle to redefine their relationship, he instructs her to have a variety of sexual encounters and then recount them in graphic detail in order to reinvent their intimacy. Unfortunately, things soon get out of hand, especially because Bess believes that what she is doing, while detrimental to her safety, is curing Jan through self-sacrifice. In the end, she sacrifices herself — becoming Christ-like — and Jan is eventually able to walk again. Even though this is due in large part to medical and not divine intervention, the opera and movie set up an equivalency between Bess’s sexual odyssey and Jan’s physical health.

This is one of three major operas written within the last century that deal directly with some form of disability. The others are Porgy & Bess (1935), and The Death of Klinghoffer (1991). The Death of Klinghoffer tells the true story of a cruise ship hijacking by the Palestinian Liberation Front leading to the killing of a disabled Jewish New Yorker. That opera offers a strong portrayal of a person with a physical disability. However, it deals more with politics and terrorism, not sex and relationships. On the other hand, Porgy & Bess centers on the relationship between a physically disabled beggar and a prostitute addicted to cocaine. While it does explore disability and addiction, Porgy & Bess focuses primarily on the struggles they face to be together, not the challenges they have to conquer once they are together.

Breaking the Waves is the Only Opera Dealing with a Relationship Between Disabled People

Breaking the Waves is the only one of these three operas to deal with the complexities of a relationship between disabled people. Jan — the husband — gets injured and becomes paralyzed; he has a textbook spinal cord injury. Bess, who hears the voice of God, may be schizophrenic as there are also references to her medical history, including her medication and time spent in an institution. Many classic operas feature a leading lady who has a breakdown but in those cases the composers weren’t interested in portraying someone with disabilities in as much as they wanted the singer to have a big musical number to show off their skills.

Just as the opera presents a range of disabilities, the audience can see a range of methods for coping with disability. This is partly why Breaking the Waves is uncomfortable to watch. One of the reasons Jan forces Bess to have affairs is that he has yet to come to terms with the fact that he is disabled. What he does is unsafe for his wife, but he still wants to be as capable as he was before the accident. At one point, he even tells Bess, “if I can’t have sex with you, I’ll die.”

Sex is important, but he puts his wife at risk. If he were more comfortable in his newly-acquired disabled skin, he might see that he is putting his loved one in danger. This also perpetuates the stereotype that people with SCI cannot have sex. The reality is that they can, but they may need to talk to their doctor or therapist for advice.

Breaking the Waves is a groundbreaking piece. However, there is still room for improvement. Ultimately, Bess sacrifices herself in a final desperate effort to have Jan walk. This works, even though Jan probably regains functionality due to major surgery. The story creates an equivalency between Bess’s self-sacrifice and Jan’s recovery that is unsettling. This is problematic because not only is it impossible, but a disability is not something that can or should be prayed away. The truest way to handle life with disability is just that: to accept and live with it.

This opera confronts audiences with someone with a disability making decisions that will hurt loved ones. This is hard to watch, but necessary. Breaking the Waves forces the viewer to come to terms with the fact that people with a disability are multifaceted and flawed. This is a good thing because it does away with stereotypes about people with disabilities, like inspiration porn. In this opera, characters with disabilities are not angels sent to make you feel better.

This points to an essential conundrum. As people with disabilities, we want to be seen as fully-formed human beings. But if this is really what we want, we have to be willing to face all of what that means — even the parts that make us uncomfortable, such as people with disabilities making harmful decisions that hurt others. Accepting everything that entails means that you might not like what you see. This is a big step for opera and fortunately, thanks to COVID with the premiere being online, it’ll be more accessible for all.