Arnedo had no reason to think the video he posted on Sept. 6 would garner a different reaction than the 75 or so videos he had previously shared. His channel offers a selection of quad how-tos, cooking videos and day-in-the-life montages, and Sept. 6’s entry, “A Girl’s Day,” was more of the same.

He uploaded the video, shared it to some of the leading SCI forums on Facebook and went about his day. Then came the comments.

“I’m sorry … but, you’re in very serious need of an experienced long time, accomplished quadfather!”

“You need a knowledgeable, professional and experienced ‘gimp’ trainer.
Unfortunately, I’m in California otherwise I’d be all over you and your dependencies! Sorry … someone had to say it.”

“You choose to be lazy and let others do everything for you. You could learn to be better and to do more things for yourself but you don’t. If you can hold a stupid beer then you can be alone for more than an hour. Smh.”

That’s just a small sampling of feedback Arnedo received. At last check, his post had racked up almost 400 comments in the two forums I saw. From a mom suggesting Arnedo meet her son with spina bifida because “he had never complained and always figured out a way to do something,” to a slightly more supportive fellow quad who wrote, “It kills me to see you (or anyone else) who is at my injury level and using a power chair and not trying harder,” commenters crushed Arnedo for being a lazy bum.

The harsh comments have nothing to do with the actual video, which shows Arnedo rolling solo around his Florida home, watching his girlfriend put her makeup on and explaining how to use iMovie. They are in response to the video’s short description:

My girlfriend and I are 24/7 together. We never go apart. We live together alone and it’s kinda difficult for her to go to the hair salon or nails salon. So, from time to time she has her sister come over and they have a girl’s day.

Had any of these experts actually watched the video they would have understood why Arnedo chose The Happy Quadriplegic as his channel name. The dude is obviously happy. His girlfriend seems to be, too — despite the assured comments of the quadsplainers.

I love that the internet has made it easier for our community to share our knowledge and connect with people needing help, but I’d hope we could be smart enough to not overstep and impose where we are not wanted or do not know the whole situation.

To his credit, Arnedo never lost his cool and showed a thick skin in responding to many of the quadsplainers. Via email, he told me he created the video thinking people would enjoy seeing that a quad can be in a happy, fulfilling relationship. “Apparently, it’s not ‘healthy,’” he writes, his sarcasm bleeding off the screen. “Apparently, it’s ‘toxic.’”

“I will always try to focus on the positive comments. I’m in love and every day is a love adventure with my significant other,” he adds. “At the end of the day, I’m living a perfectly happy life and negativity doesn’t affect me.”