Flossing regularly is for suckers. All you floss-heads can fight me if you want, but there are few things grosser than flicking undigested pieces of food onto your bathroom mirror (even if it can be satisfying trying to figure out what they are). Give me a good toothbrush and some toothpaste and I’m good. I’ve ignored the urgent pleas to floss from dentists and hygienists for almost 50 years and my next cavity will be my first. 

Still, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see the value, or even need, for an occasional floss. Who among us doesn’t enjoy dislodging a particularly stubborn kernel of corn after multiple failed brushings? Nothing beats running your tongue back and forth over the spot where the food used to be and savoring the return of your smooth teeth. 

Those feelings of satisfaction have been fewer and farther between since I lost the use of my fingers when I was paralyzed. The only thing worse than digging around in your own mouth with a piece of floss is having someone else stuff their fingers into every crevice of your mouth while repeatedly asking you if they are in the right spot. At the same time, you’re trying to guide them while hoping that funky taste on their fingers is just soap. Like flossing regularly, it sucks. 

Enter the Gfloss 

Knowing all this, when the opportunity to review Gfloss — a new flossing tool that promised to help me “discover the joy of flossing” and be “100% hands-free” — arrived, I was intrigued. Once I knew I’d be testing Gfloss, I made a point of not reading anything about it until after I tried it. While part of my brain tried to picture what a hands-free flossing experience would look like, the rest of my mind was flooded with images of gangsters wearing floss bikinis. 

I hadn’t anticipated a quarter-sized piece of pink plastic with two holes and two raised supports joined by floss. My initial thought was, what am I supposed to do with this? Just put it in my mouth and use my tongue and teeth to move it around and floss? 

It turned out that was pretty much it. I watched a 30-second YouTube short where a guy silently showed how to place the raised supports — officially called “horns” — properly. Then all you do is bite down, open your bite and move the device from gap to gap using your tongue. He made it look easy. 

The Joy of Flossing? 

I dragged one of the units out of the bag — they come in bags of 40 — and had no problem using my tenodesis to grab it and pop it in my mouth. While working through flashbacks of my parents telling me not to put small toys in my mouth when I was a child, I used a big mirror to help me position the Gfloss correctly. 

Moving the Gfloss between teeth wasn’t as easy initially as the video had made it look, but after a few minutes it wasn’t hard to imagine a future where I’d be able to manipulate the Gfloss like a pro. Likewise, I could see how Gfloss could quickly become a favorite of people with oral fixations. If you can get around the very real feeling that you might accidentally swallow the unit, Gfloss is actually kinda fun to manipulate. 

Sliding the Gfloss between my front teeth provided the same easy, rewarding feeling regular flossing does. Sliding the unit between my back molars was just as cumbersome as doing so traditionally. 

With less than 20 minutes of practice I can already do a better job on most of my teeth than I ever did with other adaptive flossing devices. It did a good job digging out stringy lamb and made quick work of wayward chia seeds. I occasionally used the side of my thumb to help reposition the Gfloss, but did so less and less as time went on. When I was done, I spit it into a napkin so I could reuse it. 

I can’t say Gfloss delivered on its promise to help me “discover the joy of flossing,” but it would take nothing short of a miracle to convert me to a regular flosser. I give Gfloss credit for delivering on pretty much every other stated benefit, including being “easy to use” and “highly discreet.” 

At $8.99 for a pack of 40, I’m not really sure if Gfloss is a good deal. Similar — but not hands-free — dental picks can be had on Amazon at the rate of 200 for $15 and a simple roll of floss is less than $5. But if you truly feel the need for hands-free flossing or you are looking for a new way to satisfy your oral fixation, you could do a lot worse than Gfloss.