I was in my sophomore year in high school, and everyone was taking driver’s ed. I enrolled as a requirement but there were no adapted vehicles for me to take the driving portion. I was embarrassed to take the class. Would everyone wonder: Why is she even here?

I didn’t actually get a driving evaluation and lessons until I was 19 years old. I drove for the first time at 21.

I didn’t get my first job until I graduated from college and was recruited to do a summer program at the hospital where I used to be a patient.

I didn’t go on a real date until well into my 20s because I was so afraid of being rejected for being disabled.

I feel like I have gone through a big part of my life measuring and comparing my life’s milestones to other people’s — especially my nondisabled peers — and feeling inadequate or falling behind. Unfortunately, I have also spent a lot of time comparing myself to others with a spinal cord injury like mine. Am I doing enough? How come they have more function than I? They have a job. They are traveling. They are married. They have children. It’s been over 25 years since my injury, and it can still be difficult to not compare myself to others.

However, I’ve been able to flip a switch in my mind and realize that growing up as a disabled woman, I move my own way and get to where I am supposed to be when my time is right. In fact, sometimes having this extra time has allowed me to observe others and make better choices and decisions. I appreciate what I learn from others and celebrate their milestones rather than feeling like there are greener grasses elsewhere.